Facing your failures

If you google the word failure, the first definition you come across is “lack of success”.

Failure is such a shitty word. Nobody really wants to talk about it, and nobody definitely wants to live in it.

We all want to be successful. We all have dreams, aspirations, and are determined to make a name for ourselves. That’s why when we fail, or even at the mere possibility of failing, we shut down so easily.

We’ve all been there.

Maybe you failed when you missed the final shot at the sound of the shot clock in your high school playoff game. Maybe you failed at making a good decision. Maybe it was flunking the first ACT exam, or going blank during a big interview that you prepared so much for.

Maybe it was failing to figure out how to make your relationship work. Or, Maybe it was trying, and failing yet again on your 34th diet program in the last five years.

When I hear the word failure, it sounds so permanent to me. It sounds like an ending. It sounds like a state that you cannot overcome.

I mean think about it . .

“You are failing”.

“You failed”.

“You’re a failure”.

It sounds permanent and shameful. Even if you know it’s not a permanent state, it pushes you into a place that’s hard to get out of. A negative mindset.

A place of shame, and worry.

But what happens when we start looking at failure differently?

What happens if we take failure by the horns, and decide that we just aren’t accepting that fate.

What happens if we decide to face our failures head on?

When I started my inspirational blogging journey, I had people who loved it.

I had people constantly telling me it truly helped them, and they enjoyed reading my posts.

I began to write a self help series but I released it a little too early, and I also didn’t get the feedback I thought I would.

I immediately got discouraged and felt like I was going to fail.

I got into my own way.

I got into my own head,

and I gave up.

I wrote not only to help others, but to help myself as well.

When I was writing, I felt like I was constantly having true, rich conversations with God. I felt like I was more positive, motivated and empowered.

First it was fear of failure, and then it was being in the state of failure itself when I didn’t follow through.

And honestly it was also easy to give up with being so busy and focused on so many other things.

But Today, as I was listening to SHE podcast with Jordan Lee Dooley (One of my favorite motivational speakers, and such an influential person) and she said something that resonated with me.

The episode was talking about following your dreams, and getting started in what you feel that you are called to do.

In this episode, they were talking about how easy it was to fall into the “comparison” trap, and how destructive it can be.

Not only is it destructive because it is simply unhealthy to compare your progress to that of others but more-so because your likely comparing your progress to someone who is in a different stage of progress than you are.

I immediately realized, that was exactly what I had done.

I released what I felt like was my best work. It was something I was so excited about, and something that I imagined would take off, helping so many. And I immediately got discouraged when I didn’t get the feedback I thought I would. But yet I was comparing myself to people who have been motivational speakers or inspirational bloggers for years.

I’m pretty hard on myself. .

What can I say, I like to set the bar high!

But let’s be honest, it’s just not realistic.

I felt like I failed but in reality I hadn’t failed at anything until I actually, physically just gave up.

And that’s just it. . You don’t really “fail” until you give up.

So today, I’m deciding to face my failures, and get out of this state. . It’s not permanent.

Learn from your failures, and don’t let shame or worry stop you from your dreams.

The only thing you need to do is get back up, and do better than you did yesterday.

So what are you waiting for? No excuses. Go on, get up and keep going!

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